


Yogurt

by Mirkys_Concubine



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Complete, Crack Fic, Humor, M/M, Major AU, Romance, WTF was i on when I wrote this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 03:36:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6453814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirkys_Concubine/pseuds/Mirkys_Concubine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward confesses his secret… only Harry's concern is yogurt. It can be eaten without a spoon, something Edward learns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yogurt

** Yogurt **

**_Edward confesses his secret… only Harry's concern is yogurt. It can be eaten without a spoon, something Edward learns._ **

.Scene 1.

The spoon lost the strawberry flavor of yogurt and Harry stared. He couldn't help but stare into the golden hue of the vampire's eyes before him. Pulling the spoon out of his mouth Harry pointed it at the eternal teen, "You're how old now?"

"Almost a century."

With a nod, "Ah." Harry scooped some more yogurt and left the spoon in his mouth as he sat back contemplating.

Time passed… ticked on…

Edward waited… and waited… "Well?"

Harry pulled out the spoon, "I'm hungry." He scooped up more yogurt and then another until his spoon hit the bottom and scraped it with a pout. "Oh poo."

"Harry?"

"Hmm?" Frown, "I want another one." Harry stood.

"Harry?"

"Yea?" Harry made his way from the sitting room to the kitchen.

Edward was in front of the refrigerator before the human could open it, "Harry."

"What? Edward move!" Harry practically begged.

Edward stared; his mind wanting to know just what was going on in that head but unable to, "What are you thinking?"

"Blueberries. I **want** blueberry yogurt!" Harry gave him a look, "If I don't have my yogurt I'll **kill** you." Pointing his spoon at the vampire Harry moved closer, "Move!" he poked him in the gut, the spoon bending.

Frustrated Edward snapped out, "How can you be so calm? You should be screaming, throwing a crucifix at me?"

Harry handed over the spoon, "Help please." The wizard watched as the vampire _fixed_ the spoon and moved out of the way. "Thank you. Just so you know Crucifixes aren't my thing." Opening the fridge he pulled out two containers of yogurt and set them on the island digging in with vigor at the first one. "This is so good."

"So you don't care that I can kill you at anytime?" the question baffled him, judging by the thoughts of his family they were concerned. "I'm serious Harry." Maybe that was it, the human thought of this as a joke.

"No you're Edward." Of course Edward didn't understand it, "Never mind. Look, if you're in a sharing mood then it's only fair I share to." Another spoonful met his declaration along with a moan, "This is really, really, good!" opening the second container, this time peach flavored he took another bite.

"Should I leave you and the yogurt alone?" the words dripped with sarcasm and frustration.

Harry licked the spoon, "Yogurt satisfies me in a way you just won't understand Edward Cullen. Me and yogurt have this eternal bond nothing can break it, it's sacred."

"I can see." Edward stuck his hands into his jean pockets, "So you're having an affair with fungus right in front of me?"

Smiling around the spoon Edward watched as the spoon slid from those delectable lips, "We can always have a threesome." Above them Edward could hear the silent laughter of his family. "Me, you, the yogurt… picture it. Me smearing it all over and licking it all up, you'll have yogurt in places you never dreamed." Giving the vampire a wicked look inspiration came to him and Harry sat on the stool, the yogurt in his hand would be used for something else.

"Now is not the time and place Harry."

"Oh now is definitely the time and the here is more than I could dream." The curved end of the spoon tapped Harry's lips as he thought of the best way to go about, "I'm glad you trust me enough to share your secret Edward, really I am. It allows me to free myself of this unimaginable burden I agonized over these past couple of days." And Edward knew, Alice had told him Harry was gearing to say something but always managed to change his mind. Just what he wanted to say frustrated the vampire to no end. "Us Potter's have a habit of zeroing in on someone and claiming ownership."

"Ownership?"

"My father did it to my mother; my grandfathers done it, and so forth. It's a curse and a blessing, something I didn't quite understand when I read some of the memoirs of my family until I met you of course." Harry could see he sort of lost the poor bloke. "This need of yours to blend in with the population isn't so well thought out you know. You try too hard which brings attention to yourself. The first day we _bumped_ into one another on campus it wasn't difficult to look past the gap clothing and air of conceitedness."

Edward felt something in him begin to swell – was it concern? Was it fear?

Harry gave a small shake to his head, "Your whole family was quite easy to point out in a crowd, it wasn't as if you lot were the first vampire's I've ever met. Different names, most convenient stories, same eyes, my magic thrummed the closer I was to any of you."

Edward jerked but he found himself stuck to the stainless steel surface of the refrigerator. "What?"

"I'm a wizard." Harry leaned forward and whispered, "A very powerful one my love." Straightening his spine and stood making his way towards the bound vampire. "All I had to do was wait for the opportune moment and ensnare you."

Edward glared, "You tricked me for falling for you."

Harry frowned, "Merlin no!" The very idea disgusted him, "What you feel is your own, what I feel is my own, the only difference would be the circumstances. Fate's a complete bitch and I'm her whip. She seems to enjoy torturing me so." Reaching out Harry traced along the edge of Edward's nose and downward catching his lip, "I never thought I would find you but there you were." Tapping the chin with a finger he pressed himself closer, Edward sucked in a breadth and held it. "Staring at me, stalking me in the night like some muggle peeper only much more scary."

"I would never hurt you." The words were spoken gently, softly.

Harry butted his nose against Edward's chin, his warm breadth bathing the vampire's cool skin. "Never say never. Sad how I'm used to being disappointed, hurt, I even accept betrayal… it's something I know quite well. Why shouldn't you be any different even when my very magic aches to be near you?"

"I would never…" his words were silenced by Harry's hand covering his lips.

"Never say never." The wizard repeated. "I own you." The words were breathed out, heard throughout the house. "Like you own me." Harry licked the smooth unblemished skin of the strong neck line. "I expect much from you Edward, you hold my trust because if you break it." Harry kissed the other side of his throat. "I'll kill you." Edward let out a surprised gasp as a hand grabbed _him_ in a place that had never been touched by another. "It won't be pretty, Merlin knows it'll kill me but if I can't have you no one can." Moving away from the frozen vampire Harry picked up his yogurt and dug in. "You're my life now Edward Cullen." Harry licked the spoon. "Me, you, and yogurt."

It wasn't supposed to be like this… Edward didn't know how telling his _boyfriend_ went from an excruciating almost impossible chore to… to… this. He stood dumbly, the restraints leaving him left him feeling lighter than he ever felt and he watched as Harry ate the rest of his yogurt as if nothing had happened.

.Scene 2.

The car sped from the driveway, rubber skidding along the asphalt leaving its mark. Not a moment later the family rushed from hiding and crowded the kitchen staring at Edward who seemed mesmerized by the empty yogurt cup just sitting atop the island. "Wow." Emmett's words summarized it.

Carlisle moved forward, his hand settling on his sons shoulder and moving behind the vampire's neck, "Are you alright?" the words were spoken gently.

"He's…" he couldn't figure a word to use and Edward gave a shake to his head, "He's infuriating."

Jasper smirked, "He was amused and aroused. I'm sure he went to take a cold shower." The meaning didn't go over anyone's mind.

Alice's eyes twinkled, "Poor Eddy." Head swiveling to his sister he bore into her mind and watched a second outcome:

_Harry dropping to his knees…_

_Such a devilish smile as he peered up into wide eyed shock…_

_Fingers undoing the belt and tugging down the pants, pooling on the ground as Harry's hands rubbed his boxer clad thighs…_

_Hands expertly stroked him through the cotton and his own erection was pulled from the boxers fold…_

_A hot wet mouth enveloped him and he let out a pained gasp as he fought to control himself as his mouth pooled with venom…_

_Head bobbing and hand fondling his scrotum Harry's free hand reached out and the container of yogurt came to the wizard…_

_Lips sucked at his cocks head before pulling away and blowing cool air against his slit. His hips jerked and chest heaved as if he needed air to breathe. "There are other ways to enjoy yogurt." Harry's dipped a finger into the creamy dairy with chunks of peaches and sucked on it with a, "Mmm." Sound…_

_"Harry." The word was a plea, he begged…_

_The wizard stuck his finger again into the plastic cup and smeared it along the curved length of his cock before licking the length and swallowing him whole. "Good no?" Harry questioned as he came up for air. He could do nothing but make a pitiful sound as more of the yogurt was scooped onto him…_

_His cock was bent upward and his sack was taken on by one into a mouth that was sin personified. Hands sticky stroked him and he found himself getting closer and closer of loosing himself…_

_"Harry…"_

_The yogurt was dropped and forgotten…_

_He could feel himself shake as his control snapped and his teeth grit, eyes darkening as his lust mounted. Swallowed again and again the base of his cock was stroked…_

_A sound escaped his lips, orgasm catching him by surprise and his groan filled the kitchen as the sound of his lover swallowing each gush of his semen like a thirst man in the desert…_

_Cock softening he was tucked into his boxers and pants pulled upwards, belt left undone. "Peach is my new favorite flavor."_

The family could smell the lust swelling and filling their senses but Edward was gone before they could confront the vampire, the door breaking in his hurry.

"Having a wizard in the family doesn't seem so bad, the human has spunk." The family glanced at Emmett, "Care to share what you _saw_ dear sweet Alice?"

"Emmett!" Esme scolded as the vampire's wife smacked his chest.

"You'll see and hear soon enough." Alice bounced on her toes. "We need to buy more yogurt!" she exclaimed excitedly much to the humor and expectation of her family. The future would definitely be far from dull.

End.

* * *

A/N: Don't know where this came from... but Harry **really** likes yogurt! : p

Mirky

* * *

Posted FF 5/17/10


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